Love Lessons from Harland

What brings you joy?

One look at this photo and you can see that my grandson Harland brings joy to my mother – and vice versa.

What this photo doesn’t tell you is that my mother usually has little facial expression. She is 95 years old and has Alzheimer’s and needs to be fully engaged to show much personality – and it doesn’t happen very often.

Two minutes after I took that picture, my mother had probably already forgotten that Harland was visiting her.

But that instant of pure joy on her face to have that sweet little boy in her lap is forever captured.

We have four generations living in this town right now. There is my mother, my daughter Margie who has two little boys, and me.

So on the days that I pick Harland up from pre-school, he knows what the next stop will be. Three-year-old Harland will visit his 95-year-old Grammy. While there he will hug her, climb on her and probably have some ice cream. I have the privilege of witnessing their sweet relationship.

My mother moved from her home in Maryland to live here ten years ago. In that time she has moved from independent living to assisted living and is now in memory care.

And honestly? There are times when I wonder why the Lord has not yet taken her home.

 

Then I look at this picture, see the family history and family love depicted, and I am flooded with joy that she is still with us.

Goodbyes Strengthen the Love

While I raised my children wholeheartedly believing the importance of giving them roots and wings, I wasn’t counting on their wings taking them so far away, so often. 

Tomorrow I say goodbye to Allison and Kyle and their perfectly lovely apartment here in Sydney. I knew that the day would come much too quickly and it has done just that. 

Makes me think about all of the goodbyes I have to say to my children and loved ones. Because I think that saying goodbye is one of those defining moments of just how much you love the person you are farewelling.

Those defining moments happen often whether it is saying a quick goodbye to my husband when I will see him again in a few hours, a goodbye to the newest grandbaby who lives far away in Tennessee, a goodbye to a daughter with a missionary’s heart who is sharing love around the world or to a son as he leaves for a few days to go and visit his girlfriend.

When I return to Florida, I will have a day or two with my son Mitchell before he flies to live in Chicago. Compared to Sydney, Chicago seems practically next door, but the goodbye will still be a tender one. 

And tomorrow’s goodbye to Allison and Kyle will be a defining moment of feeling the depth of my love for them and hiding in my heart the feeling of what it is like to hug them. I will carry those remembrances with me until I see them again.

 

The hellos are so much more joyful than the goodbyes – but I think it is in the goodbyes that we feel the most love.

 

The circus lands in Kirribilli

Here I am sitting in Allison and Kyle’s apartment in Kirribilli, a suburb of Sydney, Australia, and finding it hard to believe that I am here visiting Allison and Kyle in Kirribilli.

I am here because they have pioneer hearts. As do many of my children as well as my husband.

I do not have a pioneer heart but I think I understand and encourage it in others.

What is a pioneer heart, you might wonder?

Let’s put it this way, I’d still be in England drinking tea.  And I am pretty sure that my daughter Margie would have stayed in England with me.

My husband and our other five kids? I think that they all would have embarked on a voyage to the new world. And of those who actually landed in Virginia, Florida or Massachusetts, I believe that at least three of them would have gone on to travel the unknown out west.

Allison is one of those three.

Her pioneer heart has taken her to Prague, Trinidad, Guatemala, Uganda and now Australia. She and Kyle live here because Kyle was sent on business for the next couple of years.

Allison is not alone in this passion for exploring. Her brother Mitchell lived in France for two years and is about to move to Chicago for a second time. He loves travel, meeting new people and learning history.

Her sister Leslie is on an 11-month mission trip that takes her to a different country each month. She travels with a back pack, a team of fellow missionaries and a heart for every one she meets.

Without their pioneer hearts, I probably would never have visited France, Trinidad, Guatemala and now Australia.

 

Remember? I would still be in Great Britain enjoying tea time.

 

 

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Shifting Gears

 

           Shifting gears.

          That is a good visual for the times in our lives where we move from one role or stage to another. While they often intermingle, the shift of gears is still felt.

 

           I am feeling that now.

 

            Probably because summer is coming to a close and with the seasonal change come changes in our family.

 

            During the summer we said goodbye to our 22-year-old baby girl Leslie who left on an 11 month/11 country mission trip. Currently she is in Lezhe, Albania serving at a camp and sharing God’s love. She if shifting gears a lot on her journey.

 

            Our oldest son, Mitchell, is about to leave the relative closeness of Columbia, South Carolina for Chicago. He has lived in France before, so Chicago is a whole lot closer than that. I will have to shift gears and fly for a visit instead of planning a quick car trip, as he will be shifting gears and settle in a town that he loves.

 

            Our youngest son, Shane, is shifting gears from summer back to school and planning for the next steps in his life.

 

            Our oldest daughter Jennifer and her husband are shifting gears in Nashville and continuing the adventure with their baby Joseph, while also learning how to manage two careers and a family.

 

            While closer to home our daughter Margie and her husband continue on their adventure with two adorable boys where every day needs those gears to shift.

 

       Life here is about to change as well, but first I am shifting gears and flying to Australia to visit our daughter Allison and her husband Kyle.

       More from Sydney!

 

 

 

A little more about the circus….

Who knew that the little youngest child of Mary Ruth and Bill Jeffries, the one who loved Barbies, baby dolls, playing school with her sister, playing dress ups with anyone and sitting in her mother’s lap for so long that her older siblings wondered if she would ever leave, would grow up to be a tight rope walker in a circus.

 

Yes, that is a metaphor.

But I have grown up to be the Queen Mama to a wondrous family circus. (which is another metaphor, I think) – though I do get called Queen Mama on occasion.

 

And along with being a happy introvert – which means that while I do love interacting with people (especially one on one) I equally crave that alone time to replenish my soul – I am also a very optimistic, glass is full and running over kind of person.

 

Don’t get me wrong – I do not have a perfect life – I’ve been touched, scarred, scraped and broken hearted by a variety of life’s ills: birth defects, divorce, death, chronic disease, alzheimer’s and other hard things. But I also know that God wastes nothing and uses everything in my life to help me to grow, be more compassionate and learn to love more like God loves.

 

As I introduce my family, you’ll see what I mean.

If there is a circus in your yard, write about it

Welcome to my blog.

First a confession.

I took my title from a fabulous book by Alex Witchel called All Gone: A Memoir of My Mother’s Dementia. With Refreshments. If I remember correctly it was the daily ups and downs of her family life – specifically her mother’s dementia – that caused her to start writing.

The fact that I have a 95-year-old mother with dementia is why I read the book in the first place, but I would recommend it to anyone who is a daughter.

And while there may not be a literal circus in my yard, there are many times when I feel like I am swinging on a trapeze or trying to stuff a dozen clowns in a tiny car. You see my husband and I have six children, three grandsons, two cats, three sons-in-law and that 95-year-old mother. Each one is worthy of at least one volume full of their adventures.

Sometimes our circus is delightful, precise, relationship breeze; other times it is truly a chaotic horror show.

But either way it is a circus filled with love, support, faith and humor. And food – it is one of the few things my sweet husband and I have in common – but that is another blog.

More about the circus next time.

If there is a Circus in your Yard, Write about it

Welcome to my blog.

First a confession.

I took my title from a fabulous book by Alex Witchel called All Gone: A Memoir of My Mother’s Dementia. With Refreshments. If I remember correctly it was the daily ups and downs of her family life – specifically her mother’s dementia – that caused her to start writing.

The fact that I have a 95-year-old mother with dementia is why I read the book in the first place, but I would recommend it to anyone who is a daughter.

And while there may not be a literal circus in my yard, there are many times when I feel like I am swinging on a trapeze or trying to stuff a dozen clowns in a tiny car. You see my husband and I have six children, three grandsons, two cats, three sons-in-law and that 95-year-old mother. Each one is worthy of at least one volume full of their adventures.

Sometimes our circus is delightful, precise, relationship breeze; other times it is truly a chaotic horror show.

But either way it is a circus filled with love, support, faith and humor. And food – it is one of the few things my sweet husband and I have in common – but that is another blog.

More about the circus next time.